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Dear Friends,
Have you ever noticed how sometimes, we can't see our own flaws, but they're glaringly obvious to those around us? It's a curious aspect of human nature that often leaves us scratching our heads. But it turns out there's a scientific explanation for this phenomenon, and it's not just limited to personal quirks—it extends to more serious matters like alcoholism and related disorders.
Studies have shown that when it comes to issues like alcohol abuse, friends and family are often much better at recognizing problematic behavior than the individual themselves. It's a sobering thought (pun intended), but it highlights the importance of having a support system that can offer honest feedback, even when it's difficult to hear.
This week, as we delved into Parshas Tazria, the Torah sheds light on this human tendency in a profound way. The concept of Tzara'at (commonly referred to as a form of leprosy) involves the Cohen (a priestly figure) examining a person's skin blemish and determining whether it constitutes Tzara'at, rendering the individual impure.
There's a striking statement in the Mishna (Negaim 2:5) that resonates deeply with this theme: "כל הנגעים אדם רואה, חוץ מנגעי עצמו" - A person can view all blemishes except his own. At first glance, this might seem like a technical rule for the Cohen, but Meiri, one of the great medieval commentators on the Talmud, offers a profound interpretation.
Meiri suggests that this statement isn't just about the Cohen—it's about all of us. "A person can view all blemishes except his own" speaks to our innate difficulty in seeing our own flaws. We're often blind to our own shortcomings, whether it's due to personal biases or simply a lack of self-awareness.
This is where our friends and mentors come in. They serve as our mirrors, reflecting back to us what we may not be able to see on our own. While it's not always easy to hear criticism, especially unsolicited, it's a necessary part of personal growth. Just as the Cohen needed another Cohen to diagnose his own Tzara'at, we need the perspective of others to recognize our own "blemishes."
As challenging as it may be, we have a responsibility to seek out constructive criticism from those we trust. It's not about tearing ourselves down—it's about striving to be the best versions of ourselves, and sometimes, that means acknowledging our flaws and working to improve them as a catalyst for growth.
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Shlomo Gabay
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