BENEATH ONE’S DIGNITY
לא תחמד, you shall not be jealous seems like an imposing mitzva! How can we be commanded to control a desire in our heart? It seems too unrealistic to undo or prevent a natural feeling of jealousy!
Anticipating this question, the Ibn Ezra (20:14) offers the following analogy: If a princess is passing through the countryside, a simple villager would never entertain the unrealistic thought of marrying her. We are like the villager and the other person, and their possessions are the princess. So too, we shouldn’t be jealous of others, and we must view their possessions as simply out of our realm. We all have exactly what is meant for us and it’s unrealistic to think something belonging to someone else should be mine.
Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler (Michtav M’Eliyahu Vol. I, p. 136) sharpens this idea by teaching that one would never look at someone and wish to have their eye prescription. It is understood that those are his eyes, and these are mine. In fact, having their prescription could be counterproductive and damaging!
With this new perspective in mind, it is interesting to note that the Ramchal (Mesillas Yesharim Chapter 1) offers the same analogy as the Ibn Ezra but inverts the protagonist. He writes that we are the princess and that all of one’s desires should be deemed unsuitable, much as a simple villager being matched to a royal princess. Instead of one’s desires beyond one’s grasp they should be viewed as beneath one’s dignity.
Whatever the perspective one takes in working to fulfill this difficult, yet attainable, mitzva, appreciating that we have what we need and all else is unrealistic is the key to our success.
Wishing you all a wonderful Shabbos!
Rabbi David Claman
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